I spent a lot of today reflecting on yesterdays kumite class.
I was shocked how much my skills have matured since moving away.
I can’t understate just how shocked I am.
All this time I’ve been beating myself up for not practicing enough, for losing my skillset- just trying to keep myself from losing what I have.
I had not considered the possibility that while some things may have been lost, other things have been gained.
More importantly, that the gain has exceeded the loss.
And this made me realize how much I’ve learned from my Spirit Teachers: Crane and Tiger.
The meditation on Crane Stands Tall and Tiger Is Heavy has been more impactful than I realized.
During the sparring, I noticed myself instinctually falling into a couple of very successful patterns: Rooting very strongly, using my weight to lock my opponent in place. Then, somehow finding my opponents neck.
This is very much Tiger. Tiger pulls its prey down, using its weight to its advantage. Then it attacks its preys neck to finish the kill.
And I was getting to the neck from the inside, the outside, again and again finding the neck.
And this wasn’t an intentional strategy, this happened instinctually.
I’ve had trouble articulating the thoughts of Tiger Is Heavy.
I think it’s because many of the lessons from Tiger are instinctual to me- my body phenology (my body type) lends itself naturally to Tiger.
It’s like a fish talking about water- surprisingly hard to do.
It’s not until I started incorporating the lessons of Crane Stands Tall that I’ve been able to discover my natural instincts. Crane has taught me to control Tiger.
This is all kinda voodoo, I know. I’m anthropomorphizing a bird and calling myself a tiger.
But this voodoo has actually resulted in my skills improving.
I haven’t done kumite (sparring) in a solid 3 years? And I did more than hold my own.
In the old school, the symbol of the dojo was a Tiger and a Dragon occupying the halves of the yin-yang symbol.
Where I am right now, I feel Tiger occupies yin- instinctive, inner strength. Crane occupies yang: Expression and mobility directing Tigers attention.
There are limits to this line of inquiry, I’m sure.
But I’m not the first to meditate on the lessons received from Spirit Teachers.
I’m not going to try and invent some wild Tiger Crane kung-fu style and start pretending I know all the answers.
It’s just another step on the journey.
The Way is the Way.
It is only I who change.